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New Chapter

Opening this blog reminded me of my beautiful past.. An ambitious and passionate career woman who achieved her dream to work abroad. Too bad I was too absorbed with my life there and forgetting this blog (or my vlog) that supposed to be my “electronic diary” about my life there. Nevertheless, the feel and memories remains and will never fade in my mind and my heart. 

Ok. Enough about the past.

Now the situation has changed and many things happened, especially this year. New role, challenges, achievements, disappointment, anger, separation, heartbreak, frustation, to promotion. Each and every month I faced different kinds of emotional shock that confused me. Too many surprises that I could barely handle.

The biggest drawback was actually the breakdown. Mental breakdown that occured last summer. The avalanche of an iceberg that, for the past 7 years, I hold on tight with all my might. It wasn’t just the tip nor a drill. It was real. And it’s cost me my confidence, belief, and self-trust that I build for so long.

Up until today, I’m still not recover. Exhausted, anxious, and demotivated. Feeling disconnected with my job and the non-existence of excitement. Not that I don’t try. I took several full-week leave, went to therapist, even being honest and open about my struggle to my bosses, HR, and Management.

Yet I couldn’t recover.

2020 is coming to end and once again I have to face the most crucial December, the month where fate will be decided. 

I, then, once again trusting my heart to make the decision. To start the new chapter of my beautiful life..

“Listen to your heart, because heart is the closest place where we can listened to God’s answer”

Bismillah.. 

//Home.

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