My heart stopped. I was very nervous and my hands were started to shake. I calmed myself down and whispered "Bismillah..".
I clicked the link to the host country nervously, keep scrolling... Japan... Asia Oceania... Singapore... Hongkong.... Shanghai.... Seoul.... Auckland..... Melbourne..... Sydney... and other countries that I couldn't recall. Wait! Where is Europe? USA? Where is my Londoooon?!!
My world seems darken when I read those. This is my dream, despite my unconditional love towards my job and what I am doing now, the reason why I want to stay at this office because I believe I will be able to accomplish my dream to work abroad through this institution and its credibility as one of best Foreign Bank at the moment.
What am gonna do... I even rehearsed my interview speech at the bathroom 2 weeks ago.... With a heavy heart I texted my best friend through our company chat room. She tried to consoled me and I said that I support her to take this program in Aussie. As I also tried to consoled myself, I looked up the list for million times...
Why like this.. Why.. Not even Singapore.... My chance is either Japan and Hongkong (Not all division are available on each country, so my division only applies in Japan and Hongkong)..
I am handling Global Corporates excluding Japan and rarely had any communication with Japan team. Let alone Hongkong. Maybe I'll go to the Disneyland every day.
I kept reopen the attachment hoping that something would chance. and it happened!!
The attachment is definitely stays the same. I just reminded something, something very crucialll.
I have waited for this announcement for 3 years! 3 years! 3 years of waiting where this assignment is only available for those who has accomplished at least 3 years of working. For 3 years I keep scrolling the list hoping when my time is coming there will be an open recruitment for my division in Singapore or London (Unfortunately for the past 3 years is always Japan and other country except Singapore or London, what a life!). I remembered clearly that every years it was always all countries globally including US and European. Thus I checked another attachment that compiled the comments and review from previous members. and I was right! All of them are either assigned in US, London, Singapore and Japan. Countries that stands for regional based for each continent. My mind started analyzing the situation.
"This must have been about budget consideration, I am sure Jakarta HR was excluding some countries in this attachment."
Lucky me, the HRD staff that sent the email was walking next to my department. I immediately jumped and start to terrorizing her.
"Where is London? You guys was excluding it right? London is definitely one of the host country." I talked without stopping.
She innocently say yes. I stunned, I thought she's gonna lie (well, it is Ramadhan no lies allowed😄).
Then I begged her to show me the list, and.... my division is there!!
My eyes started watery while trying my best to make some jokes and run as fast as I can to leave the room. I was holding my tears...
During lunch time I talked many probabilities with my friend and we decided to fight for it. At least HR need to know my intention and why I want this so bad. I also talked to my direct supervisor and my department head. Both of them were very supportive (as usual). I am very lucky to have a wonderful bosses like them. Seriously, I might dedicate a post for them someday.
Without noticing, breakfasting time has reached and we're all busy preparing our Iftar. Me silently roaming around HRD rooms to ensure that the key person for this program is still around. The clock showed 06:20pm and I was ready to go Shalat Maghrib.
"Mbak Solat yuk" Asked me to my senior.
"Bentaran Ri."
"Yaudah Aku duluan ya, nanti kamu nyusul".
After Shalat, I directly returned to my desk for finished things up. Guess who did I bumped into?
Yes! The key person. Head of Learning and Development Unit that led this program for Jakarta branch. She asked me first about the list, and I replied her like a rapper. Never across my mind that one day I really use that "elevator pitch" concept that I think so irrational before. I told her everything that I want her to know including my past experience in working with London branch team, all the project that I've done, my familiarity with London and other confidential things.
She said she support the idea and will escalate this with Management first.
I don't minddd. I told her that I'll drop her an email to support her justification for the management. I hope they'll give me -at least- a chance to speak and delivering my intention.
Whatever the result later, I already very happy and satisfied for what happen today. All the unexpected chances that I got, the support from my bosses and best friend, also the unimaginable action of me striving for a chances.
I couldn't believe that one small things in life could change your future. If only I waited my senior for Shalat together, I might not bumped into the key person. If only I didn't back and forth opening the attachment I might be crying right now and If only I didn't decide to fight for it.....
Nothing has been confirmed and the chances to be accepted is still small. But I was grateful enough to get the chance to try and I will respect HR decision no matter what.
I might not be lucky all the time, but one thing that today's occurrence has taught me is effort and determination really do wonder.
"If you want something so bad, fight for it until people notice."
picture from google
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