Today at lunch, I got together with my management trainee friends. We rarely met, but when we do we can talked about anything from the most important to the most ridiculous topic. Marriage topic came up (as usual) and suddenly they were talking about mine. Guessing my wedding venue, talking about how big it would be, and other stupid fantasy. I stopped them in the midway and asked
"Guys guys. Before we get there, how if we find the candidate first? You know how desperate I am rite? Don't you see my instastory post?"
(My Intagram post is always staged and glamorized. But my instastoryyy? Pheew, even my best friend felt ashamed to have a friends like me hahahaha.)
One of my craziest guy-friend said I will met soooo many potential candidate in London and most likely I will end up with one of 'someone important' son. Since there are abundance rich son who study there.
In contrary with him, Juju spontaneously said "I don't think so. I think Riri will end up with someone from a humble background with a good character and then strive together with her to become a successful man."
.....
I am stunned.
She knows me that well!
In all my life, I think 90% people around me always guessed my 'fate' by telling me that in the future I will be millionaire's wife, general's wife, First Lady, Madame, Princess or any other title that more or less: just being 'someone's important' significant other.
Of course I am happy with that, who doesn't want to live an easy life and showered with a lot of money right? I don't know what they see in me that makes them think that way, but good wish is still a good wish and I appreciate it a lot.
However.
To be completely honest. What they said is actually the opposite from what my heart wants. I want to be with someone 'normal'. Someone that humble but strong willing, responsible and a hard worker. Someone that can strive together with me from the bottom up until we achieve success together. I don't mind to start from zero with him (hmm.. I know my parents are quite possessive and love to spoil their daughter. But no worries, I can handle them 😜). Sorry not sorry, I am not really fond with 'rich son'. I don't know why, but I cannot see myself with somebody who are born with a silver spoon. I kinda think that 'rich son' tend to be more spoiled and irresponsible. (Deeply sorry that I am stereotyping. But I haven't get a chance to find one who are not).
So. What is exactly Mr. Right should be?
Does having a great character with a strong willed is enough? Do I really satisfied with the way he do his job or pursue his dream? How if I found someone that excel in all of this criteria? Does he the Mr. Right?
The answer is yes.
or not.
Not that I am ungrateful, but having these traits somehow did not satisfied me. I was devaluating myself too much. I thought as a woman, being a cheerleader wife for my husband is enough. I thought the only think we can do is wait at home and praying that our husband will excelling his job. I thought what we need to do is welcoming our husband with a big hug and smile upon his arrival from stressful work.
It turns out to be false alarm.
Woman is not a merchandise. Particularly, I, don't want to live under my husband shadow. I have my own dream to achieve, goal to accomplished, and life to live.
I realized since I was young, my wildest dream is (not was) gracing the cover of Forbes magazine, titled as:
"Most Successful Women in the World"
"Most Powerful Women in Asia"
"Most Richest Women in Indonesia"
and many more title to use.
Now that I am still in the search of Mr. Right. I understand the meaning of striving together from the bottom doesn't mean "I am pushing my husband bottom". It means, we, together, hand in hand to support each other and have each other back to accomplish our dream together without extremely sacrificing one or another's purpose in life. Nothing is ideal in this world, so does marriage. That's why I wrote "extremely sacrificing". Because I understand, we need to have that balance in life and in order to achieve that 'balance' it means something needs to be adjusted. My senior colleagues had told me once:
"Marriage is not love, marriage is compromising"
Glek. That is quite scary for wonderful marriage life believer like me 😰 hahaha.
Yet I understand his point. That's why I try to be realistic in fantasizing my ideal marriage life or idea Mr. Right.
I put everything on hold again. I don't want to jinx it or try to outstep God in the search Mr. Right series. What I state before is the ideal form as per my understanding. While God knows waaaay better than myself. He knows what is best and what is not. What I think it would be best for me doesn't mean it is really best for me.
I do my research before. Almost 99% person married woman always answer this when I asked them "Why are you sure that your husband is the one?":
Please click this link to know: www1.lovewillfindaway.com
😂😂😂😂 Just kidding guys.
The answer is: "You just know."
ANNOYING RITE?!!!
I hate that answer! Very helping😒
DISCLAIMER: Being a housewife taking care of your kids and husband is the most noble job in the entire universe. I cannot thank more to my mom who has taking a very good care of me, my brother and my father. She builds my father into what he is now. She prioritize her kids million times over herself. What we will be in future is all because of her (hopefully we can grow into a respected and well-rounded person). I owe her all my luck because whenever I feel lucky I always think it is because Allah loves me by her unlimited prayer for me.
So don't get me wrong. Having a dream as your family foundation is the greatest dream. It is actually my ultimate dream. To serve my family.
I just want to share my current thinking
"Perhaps, Allah has another plan for me."
"Perhaps I am not only destined to serve my family, but also serving society, serving my country."
"or perhaps, Allah just want me to enjoy my time to accomplishing my personal goal until I find my own family to serve."
Wallahualam...
Allah is the Best Planner of all planner.
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